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The current year marks a ten-year milestone since the term “ghosting” entered the mainstream. At the time, the idea that someone could instantly end all contact with a romantic interest without any notice seemed like the pinnacle of indignity. Our innocence was charming. In the 10 years since, finding a significant other has only become more bewildering – an commonly pointless exercise in awkwardness that is increasingly shaped by online slang.

Gen Z, a cohort who matured during a loneliness epidemic, a male identity crisis, and a concerted attack on the rights of females and the LGBTQ+ community, faces a significantly more chaotic landscape than their Gen Y predecessors could ever fathom. And so their romantic glossary has grown more elaborate and more bizarre, with phrases like “Shrekking” and “monkey branching” pushing the limits of your sanity.

What follows is a extensive glossary to the terms this generation is using to discuss love, sex and the search of both. To paraphrase one of the year’s most viral memes, by the conclusion of this guide you’ll long to get back to God’s country – because wherever that is, it doesn’t have “wokefishing”.

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A

Realness – For gen Z, romance's ultimate goal is showing up as your true, unfiltered self. Good luck with that!

B

Avian theory – A online phenomenon inspired by a methodology developed by relationship scientists, in which you point out something trivial – for example, “I saw a bird today” – and observe whether your partner’s reply is inquisitive or brushed off. If they do not want to hear more about the bird, you two are not compatible.

Mysterious girlfriend – Zoomers' rebuttal to the “quirky fantasy girl” trope of the early 2000s – but rather than having baby bangs, liking The Smiths and eschewing commitment, the mysterious partner puts herself first while oozing mystery and independence. (She might still have that fringe.)

The Letter C

Seat theory – This signifies going for someone who helps you unprompted. If you walked into a room, they would fetch a seat for you to sit down.

Task-based bonding – A outing where two people connect while handling tasks, such as pet care or grocery shopping. In other words, how broke twentysomethings do budget-friendly romance in a post-“$5 beer and shot combo” world.

Melting down – Melting down when you feel burdened by life. You can spiral over a crush or breakup, venting all of your unreciprocated emotions.

D

Dink – Double income, no kids. Once a marker of 80s yuppie affluence, it describes pairs who forgo parenthood to prioritize their own well-being. Or because they cannot afford to become parents.

The Letter E

Emotional vibe coding – The opposite of playing it cool: utilizing communication, transparency and vulnerability.

F

Indicators

• Warning signs – Personal traits signaling a potential partner is not right. Such as calling their former partners unstable, bad gratuity habits, a love of controversial director films, a nascent DJ career …
• Positive signs – These quirks confirm your decision to pursue a mate. For instance following up to make sure you got home safely after a date, low phone use, owning a proper bed …
• Beige flags – These usually describe specific, mostly benign idiosyncrasies. For instance being an keen birdwatcher, still keeping a pen in their purse, paying rent in physical money …

Niche bonding – When you connect with someone who’s just as obsessive about documentaries about the WWII or physical media hoarding or collaging or anything it may be, as you. Or, conversely, finding someone who despises the same stuff or individuals that you do (few things fosters intimacy faster than sharing a common enemy).

The Letter G

Geese – A musical group a typical Zoomer guy likes.

Phantom reappearing – Someone who reappears into your life after a length of silence.

Eager-to-please partner – Someone who is friendly, accommodating and devoted. The uncommon boyfriend who is adored by all of his significant other's friends, and a mysterious partner's opposite.

Prolonged session enthusiasts – A primarily online subculture of men so preoccupied with masturbation that they attempt lengthy sessions, deliberately delaying climax so they can continue as long as possible.

H

Pessimistic straight dating – A mindset describing many women’s increasing pessimism toward heterosexual relationships. It will come as little surprise to anyone who read the previous entry.

High-value woman – An ideal touted by manosphere figures: a woman who is attractive, ever-comforting and happily domestic, who apparently has no ambitions of her own other than satisfying her man partner. Maybe now you’re beginning to grasp the whole “heterofatalism” thing better?

I

Turn-offs – Arbitrary and frequently trivial turnoffs that instantly extinguish any feelings of interest.

“If he wanted to, he would" – Something to remember after you watch someone else receive an incredibly sweet gesture.

The Letter J

Professions – These have not been this significant in the romance landscape since the greed-is-good era. For some women, a “man in finance” is the ideal partner: a preppy, Republican-coded guy who will provide (there’s a popular TikTok audio on the topic). Meanwhile the left-leaning crowd prefer partners in professions they believe are being staffed by the more caring among us: nurses, educators or counselors.

K

Making out – This year, researchers learned that the kiss has been around for 16m years. But the days of locking lips may be numbered since some gen Z want fewer intimate scenes in film, as they are having less sex themselves and do not find cinematic romance realistic.

Enhanced profile crafting – Slight exaggeration. Or, not exactly lying about who you are, but maybe using outdated (better) photos of yourself on a online profile, or making your job sound more prestigious than it is. Also known as {