Evening Hosts Lampoon Trump's Controversial 'Gold Card' Visa Plan

Television's top comedians devoted the evening criticizing ex-President Donald Trump's recently announced visa program, called the "golden visa," describing it as a blatant pay-for-access system for the affluent.

Stephen Colbert's Sarcastic Analysis

Starting his program, Stephen Colbert delivered a sardonic Christmas song targeting the president. "He is compiling a list, checking it twice, and then giving that list to the agents at ICE," he sang. "Donald Trump ... ruins each thing he comes into contact with."

The subject was the new program that permits international citizens to purchase U.S. legal status for a sum of a million dollars, with a "premium" option for $5 million. An official website promises processing "in record time."

"One thought here to wealthy immigrants: before you pay, what about Canada?" Colbert joked.

He pointed out that the program is also designed to "get cash" from firms looking to hire skilled workers, involving large payments. "That is a lot of fees, though if you enroll, you additionally get a complimentary stay at a property of your choosing – as long as it's the that one hotel," he added.

"The most thorough screening the government has ever done," stated Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick, "a $15,000 vetting to make sure these individuals completely are eligible to be in America."

"That is important, you gotta prove you're qualified to be an American," Colbert said dryly. "First question: how many hamburgers would you eat for a free T-shirt?"

Jimmy Kimmel's Blistering Roast

On his late-night program, Jimmy Kimmel labeled the visa program the "Get Into America Express Card."

"Here's a card that will permit affluent foreigners to live here," he explained. "In exchange for a million bucks, you get legal resident status, you get a pathway to citizenship, and a presidential pardon for one major crime of your choosing."

"Maybe it's time to update that poem on the Statue of Liberty – never mind your tired masses. Hand over a million bucks, you're in!" he added.

Kimmel teased the brevity of the form, noting it is "tougher to start a Wordle account." He lamented that Trump "believes citizenship is something you can sell, like a steak."

"That's right, the best people are the rich people," Kimmel joked. "That's what Jesus always said! It's in the Bible. He says it's simpler for a camel to go through the eye of a needle if you offer the needle a million dollars."

Seth Meyers covering Affordability Struggles

Meanwhile, Seth Meyers focused on Trump's declining approval ratings amid economic worries. "The public gave Donald Trump a second term since they were mad about the economy," he explained.

This week, in a attempt to discuss affordability, Trump held a press conference in front of a array of grocery items, where he behaved strangely to boxes of cereal.

"These look great, I think I'm going to take a few of them back to my home and have a lot of fun," Trump said. "Such as the Cheerios, I haven't had Cheerios in a ages."

"Trump is so fucking weird," Meyers reacted. "Like, you're going to take them home to your cottage to have a lot of fun with them? What's the plan with those Cheerios?"

Meyers concluded by targeting conservative media coverage of Trump's economic record. "Maybe instead of voicing concerns, you should give him a sparkling trophy similar to what FIFA did," he laughed.